


When you were gone

by Sherlocked_in_the_phandom



Category: Sherlock - Fandom
Genre: Eating Disorders, M/M, Rape, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-23
Updated: 2016-08-23
Packaged: 2018-08-10 13:54:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7847650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sherlocked_in_the_phandom/pseuds/Sherlocked_in_the_phandom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John hadn't meant to walk in on Sherlock, but nothing could have prepared him for what he saw when he did</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic and probably not a very good one so apologies :) this is the only chapter for now but if you want more please let me know, enjoy!

John hadn't meant to just walk in, he naturally assumed Sherlock would be experimenting or in a mind palace. It was the first time he had visited Sherlock since they became solid friends again. He'd come over to talk to Sherlock, he needed someone to talk to after Mary left him. But nothing has prepared him for this. Sherlock had been used to walking around in just his sheet, or just his pyjama bottoms, he didn't even hear the footsteps  
'Um, hi, Sher…' John couldn't finish his sentence for the sight that lay before him. Sherlock was sat on his laptop facing the window with his back fully exposed to a now horrified John. Sherlocks once lean and muscular body was now thin as a rake and smothered in huge scars. Sherlocks head snapped around to look at John and snatched his dressing gown and he attempted to cover up what John had seen, much too late. 'John, I… didn't see you there, um, sorry I'll go and freshen up'  
This was it, John would hate Sherlock forever now, he would leave and never want to see Sherlock again.

Sherlock bolted into the bathroom and turned on the shower in the hopes of drowning out the sound of himself vomiting up nothing but bile. When he had finished he turned off the water and a shine caught his eye. He hadn't done this since before he 'died', but this was different, he was certain that John would loathe him after seeing his disgusting fat body. He took the blade and sliced his forearm. He revelled in how the red liquid mixed with his deathly white skin. He ignored John's pleas to unlock the door, why would John even want to look at him? But after all, John was a military man and managed to break the door down to see an extremely fragile Sherlock lead on the ground trembling. John scooped him up and flinched noticeably at how incredibly light Sherlock was. Sherlock jumped down from his arms only to fall on the floor out of pure exhaustion, 'I know you think I'm disgusting John, I'm fat and have ridiculous scars everywhere, just leave I can take care of myself'  
'Well clearly you can't Sherlock. Look at you! When was the last time you ate anything?'  
'Two and a half weeks ago that I remember,' Sherlock said almost inaudible  
'What the bloody hell! For gods sake Sherlock why won't you eat?' John was speaking softer now, more concerned  
'John, I'm fine I've just been busy with a case that's all' John sighed and suddenly remembered the scars all over Sherlocks back and forearms  
'Sherlock, please stop hurting yourself, and where have those scars on your back come from?'  
'When I was…away…I was in Serbia…they wanted information out of me' Sherlock struggled. An overwhelming sensation struck John as he began to feel responsible for all this, Sherlock had already told John that he left to protect him, this was all John's fault. He squeezed Sherlock as tight as he dared, making sure as to be careful with his fragile body. They stayed like that for the whole night and on that moment John vowed never to leave Sherlock again, this was fatal.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John is having nightmares

John held Sherlock in his arms, the fragile body as light as a feather fell limp. John cried out and frantically searched for pulse…none. He cried Sherlock's name out until his throat was raw. Sherlock…

'John! John!' Sherlock was petrified. John was trembling and smothered in sweat, Sherlock shook him and shouted his name until join bolted upright. His eyes widened then relief, fear, and confusion flashed across his face. He clung to Sherlock buried his head into the bony chest, all that mattered was that Sherlock was alive and here, with John. 

They carried on with that day and John gave Sherlock a strawberry, or a slice of orange, something, every hour or so. It worked until the case. This was Sherlock's excuse for not eating, so it wouldn't be easy getting him go eat. This carried on for a month until John asked Lestrade to stop calling Sherlock for cases, so Sherlock had to deal with being bored and eating like a mundane until John was satisfied with his weight. But there wasn't a day that went by that John didn't scan everything Sherlock did, making sure he got some food in. After 6 months, Sherlock and John returned to the crime scenes just like old times, except John still woke up every night believing Sherlock was dead from malnutrition, blood loss, getting murdered on a case.   
'John, I have a proposal' Sherlock stated pit of the blue on a Tuesday morning  
'Go ahead' John sighed, 'why don't we share a room? You clearly need to be in company when you ate sleeping and want to keep a close eye on me' John pretended to turn the idea over in his head whilst he really wanted to pin Sherlock against the wall 'I think that would be a good idea' 

From then on, Sherlock and John slept on the same bed, doing nothing, just, melting into each other. It was 3 months after that John decided that it was the day. He would finally tell Sherlock.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secrets come out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wrote THIS WHOLE THING and it all deleted so I hope you like it so it's worth it

'You want to sleep with other faggots like you?' *slap* 'you want to turn your sister into a freak like you?' *slap* 'if you like men so much then you'll love this you little freak.' He undid his trousers and without any warning shoved his penis into John, thrusting so hard John thought he might faint 'see? You love this you little cock slut. I can see how the boys love you, you're huge, and look , you're getting bigger! You love it'

 

John! John wake up, it's just a dream, you're ok,' Sherlock was whispering comfort in things to John but he couldn't hear a word, he was living his nightmare over and over. John bolted to his room upstairs and cowered in the corner. Sherlock left him, knowing he need to be alone.  
The next morning John prepared himself, this was the day he would finally tell Sherlock. 'Sherlock? I have to talk to you. There's down thing I have to tell you and you'll think me a freak and will want me out of the flat but I just can't keep lying to you, I can't do it. I'm gay Sherlock' Sherlock stood stunned before running to his room, he has to take in what John had said. A freak? How could Sherlock ever think John a freak? It was physically impossible, he loved home too much, wait. He loves him? Yes. He supposed he did, he loved John Watson. Now just to get to the bottom of what John had told him. Why would he think all this?  
'John? Why do you think you're a freak? Who told you that you are a …… just because you're gay?'  
'My father,' John started 'he was always a wise man and whenever I slept with a man he would sleep with me. Quite a fair punishment for something so horrible.' John looked away whilst Sherlock couldn't even begin to understand why John father would do something like that. John continued anyway, 'the reason I told you is because I love you, and you're going to throw me out anyway so I should tell you this while you're still angry with me, soften the blow perhaps' Sherlock went rigid, John loved him? Sherlock Holmes the famous freak? John loved him? Before John could say anything else Sherlock walked over to John and gently kisses him, the best kiss that the pair had ever experienced with anyone else, to each other, an amazing utopia, perfect bliss.


End file.
